


Life and Babybones

by Sagoberattare



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Babybones, F/F, F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sans 'i have too many kids help' Skeleton, Uncle Papyrus is the coolest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-06-30 10:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19851148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sagoberattare/pseuds/Sagoberattare
Summary: You are a ordinary mother of three, working as a secretary at a firm. One day you rescue a monster child and meet his exhausted Dad, and later the poor skeleton's many, many children. Soon you and your girls find yourselves becoming apart of this insanely large (and adorable) family.





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

It was a rare day for you, having no work or the girls. The girls were visiting their dad for the weekend, leaving you with nothing to do so after cleaning the apartment and doing the laundry and still another day to just yourself, you decided to visit the nearby park. It was a nice enough day and you felt a walk would be a good idea.

It was one of the more monster populated ones, with plenty of vendors around. You walked past three that was ran by a trio of ice cream selling monster’s, the first two were blue rabbits selling nice cream and mean cream (you struggled not to laugh at the latter one’s name), while the last one was a friendly cat monster selling burgers.

Deciding you’d buy something on the way back you meandered on, enjoying the nice spring weather. There were plenty of families out and about, both human and monster. You even saw a human snuggling next to her monster spouse, if the matching rings meant anything.

You hadn’t met many monsters, though you’ve seen lots since moving to Ebott City. It’s been five years since the barrier broke (something that was felt all over the world), and roughly ten thousand monsters came out. The Underground apparently was a lot bigger than most would have thought, with most of the places sharing names (apparently the King and his brothers all suffered from bad and repetitional naming skills). You felt proud of your fellow humans when instead of getting hostile, they worked with the monsters. The Monster Ambassador’s had worked hard to show that the monsters were not dangerous, supportive of peace and understanding. You personally thought the adopted children of the Royal family were too young to be ambassadors, but that might just be the mother in you speaking.

There were still plenty of hostilities between the two races, but you were hopeful that long term peace could be achieved.

You spent several hours there wandering aimlessly. You even got a glittery looking burger from the cat vendor, and probably would have continued to walk around had it not started to rain. It was a trickle now but judging by those rain clouds it was going to pour soon.

It was when you passed an alley that had you heard the cry. A child’s cry.

Not too far in the alley was a large mongrel snarling at a child that was precariously on top of a dumpster, throwing bones at the animal.

“LEAVE ME ALONE! HELP! SANS!” The child screamed, the mongrel snapping horrifyingly close to them.

Rushing in you, waving to get the animal’s attention. Thinking fast you waved the partly eaten burger around, attracting the mongrel’s attention.

“Hey! Hey! Look what I have! You hungry boy? Here! Go get it!”

With a quick throw you launched it as far away as you could, the hungry animal rushing after it. Looking up at the child you registered that they were a monster. Holding out your arms you urged the child to jump to you, hoping to be gone before the animal finished. The child hesitated for a moment, before jumping into your arms. You wasted no time in running out of the alley.

You would have ran as far as you could, except that the tiny monster child proceeded to tug hard on your braid, pointing at a corner shop. “IN THERE! IN THERE!”

Without thinking you ran in, only vaguely registering the name of the shop, _Flowers and Tea Shop_.

The doorbell chimed as you entered, startling a gaunt goat monster with a straggly black mane and large dazed yellow and red eyes.

“O-oh, welcome to the shop…” He mumbled, standing to greet you. He towered over you by a good three or four feet, wearing a gray shirt and pants and a green apron. “Would you like some beverages…?”

“Um, actually-”

“CAN-CAN I TALK TO THE OTHER GUY? PLEASE, MR. AZRUIN?” The tiny child spoke while still pressed into you, addressing the tall monster though he seemed unwilling to let go of you.

The monster, Mr. Azruin startled as though he just noticed the small one in your arms. “Oh, one of the skeletons. Yes, I’ll go get him. Please sit.” And with that he left to the back.

The shop was large, probably to accommodate larger patrons. As its namesake would hint at, it was a flower and tea shop, with several other patrons already in, enjoying the quant atmosphere though they were looking at you. _Probably because I’m the only human in here and I came with a monster child._

Now that the danger was pass, the child started wiggling out of your grip, so you gently put them down.

Once on their feet, you finally got a look at the red and black coat child…and staring up at you shyly was the smallest and most adorable monster you’ve ever seen. A tiny little skeleton monster wearing a red and black striped coat over a red jumper and grey jeans and red rain boots, his teeth might one day be sharp and dangerous but for now were little pointy nubs, his skull narrow yet somehow having what looked like chubby cheeks. His sockets weren’t big and seemed to have quarter-size white lights within them that watched her.

If your girls were here, they would have cooed and aw’ed at the adorable child before you, you just knew it because you were fighting the urge to do it as well.

Instead you slid down to your knees, keeping you hands out to show them you weren’t armed and gave a friendly smile.

“Hi there. My name is-”

You were interrupted by a loud but squeaky ‘meow’, the child’s face morphing from their (pout) scowl to horror.

“DOOMFANGER!” He- you think they were a he anyway- pulled off his coat and yanked his jumper up, revealing a tiny rib cage and spine… and a small white puffball of a kitten hiding inside.

_Be strong, don’t coo at the baby skeleton, he/she/they need their family, you need to get him-them home. I really hope there is someone here who knows them._

“Is your friend okay, sweetie?”

As though he(?) had forgotten you, the child jumped. Looking at you, he held his kitten away from you, as though he thought you’d take his precious Doomfanger ( _he named it that, that’s so cute!_ ).

“Okay, sweetie? Can you tell me your name? And do you know how I can contact your family?”

The child looked thoughtful, petting his little fluffy kitten. He (?) must have decided you were okay to talk to as they spoke in a voice of forced confidence, “I-I’M PAPYRUS, BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME EDGE. I…I DON’T KNOW MY DAD’S NUMBER, BUT MR. AZSWAP DOES.”

_Judging by how well he articulates, he must be like, between seven and nine…though they are around a human four-year old in size…_

Papyrus proceeded to hide his face in his fluffy kitten’s fur, looking bashful.

_Awwwwwww~_

Mercifully you prevented yourself from cooing at the poor child when Mr. Azruin returned, followed by an equally tall goat monster. Unlike Azruin who was very thin and looked like he has been fighting a long term illness, this guy looked like he never skipped the gym a day in his life, thick with muscles, and like Azruin he had a mane though his was golden blonde. He wore a smile that reached his eyes, that only brightened at the sight of the small skeleton. _Have I seen his guy before?_

“Edgy! Welcome back!”

The child kept his kitten in front of him, the tiny fluffball yawning from they’re owner’s hands. The tiny child had moved to hide behind Azswap’s leg. “HI, MR. AZSWAP.” 

The newly named Azswap looked at you, frowning. “Where’s your family, Edgy?”

The skeleton shrugged, Azswap frowning harder at you. “And who’s your friend?”

The child peered at you, still hiding behind Azswap’s leg. “SHE SAVED ME AND DOOMFANGER FROM A HUNGRY DOG. IT WOULD HAVE EATEN DOOMFANGER IF SHE HAD’T BEEN THERE.”

The budding inimical look Azswap had been giving you faded away, a friendly smile replacing it.

“CAN-CAN SHE HAVE SOME TEA? MY TREAT.”

You stood, waving your hands. “Oh no, sweetie! Don’t spend your money on me. In fact, I wanted to buy some flowers for home but didn’t know where any good flower shops were. I didn’t even know this shop was here until you pointed it out, so I should be thanking you!”

Truthfully, you didn’t explore much on your days off. Raising three girls and working full time made it difficult to find time to explore.

Both of the goat brothers(?) seemed to approve of your words, and little Papyrus got bashful again, hiding completely from sight.

_Again, awwwwww~._

“Besides, Doomfanger might be hungry. I’m sure a strong monster like you can find them food.”

Papyrus peeked around Azswap’s leg at you, sockets wide. Then a red color spread across his skull and he held Doomfanger up higher till you could only see his sockets.

“Y-YOU REALLY THINK I’M STRONG?” he asked, in the loudest whisper you’ve ever heard, like when your five-year-old was trying to be quiet but hadn’t quite figured it out.

Smiling at the sweet child you nodded. “Of course! You kept Doomfanger safe from that dog! That was incredibly brave.” You leaned in, stage whispering, “To be honest, you’re a lot braver than I am. I’d have cried if that dog had come after me.”

“YOU? BUT YOU’RE AN ADULT! AND BIGGER!” He said, looking shocked.

“And I’m a big ole scaredy-cat.”

Doomfanger let out another loud squeaky meow, as though they were offended by your comment.

“And if you hadn’t told me to go into this shop, I’d probably kept running around in circles. So really, you are brave and good at keeping calm in scary situations! I know a lot of adult’s who wouldn’t have done even half as well!”

Papyrus flushed red again, looking both embarrassed and pleased with your praise and hid his whole skull behind Doomfanger. “T-THANK YOU, MISSY.”

Azswap gently picked up the tiny monster, smiling at you.

“I’m going to make some tea. Would you like any miss…?”

After a quick introduction, you agreed on having some tea, so long as Papyrus wasn’t buying.

A low rumble came from Azswap’s chest, looking amused. “Why don’t you pick out your flowers while I brew, and if you have any questions, ask my brother Azruin or the Flowey’s.”

And with that he walked back with Papyrus, leaving you with Azruin and a couple of patrons who were looking at you with surprising amount of amicableness.

Azruin stepped forward, a kind smile on his gaunt face, showing sharp looking teeth. “We have more flower selections pass that door. Was there any in particular you were looking for miss?”

You shook your head, thanking him for the help. You did check the window before you went deeper into the store, finding that it was pouring now. Checking out the shop would be a good time waster, and frankly, flowers would make your little apartment feel nicer till the girls came home.

Stepping through the door, you stumbled at the sheer number and variety of flowers. These guys had a green house! A massive green house! Did they make their own tea? You could have sworn you smelled spices…

“Hiya lady!” A happy voice called out from below you. Looking down, you saw a large yellow flower with a face on it, waving a leaf happily at you from a pot that had wheels on it.

“Um, hi?”

“Nice to meet you! I’m Flowey the Flower! And that-” they point to another yellow potted flower on wheels that rolled by, being followed by other, “is Flowey the Flower! And that is Flowey the Flowey! This is also Flowey the Flower!” the cheerful flower monster proceeded to introduce you to about sixteen more flowers, all who apparently carried the same name… except Bob the Flower, who was quite content to sit in a wheelless coffee mug on the counter with the most bored look on their face, reading a book about pollination. 

They kept a cheerful chatter going, following you around as you went through the massive array of flowers, politely asking them for ideas. This made them go on about the different types of flowers they had, who was she getting them for, and even the language of flowers (which according to Flowey#3, they were in the process of having the flower language recognized as an actual language). Eventually you picked white mums, daffodils and a glowing blue flower the Flowey’s called an echo flower. The last one was mostly to see your daughters’ reactions to it, knowing they would love it.

Thanking the Flowey’s for their help you made your way back to the front, Azruin sitting up straight when he saw you, Azswap and Papyrus having returned from the back.

Checking the window, you were relieved to see that the rain had stopped, sunlight breaking through the lighter clouds. _Today has been a good day,_ you thought as you made your way to the register.

Azswap had just handed you your tea when the door slammed opened, a loud and distressed “pappy!” filling the air, followed by Papyrus happily yelling “SANS!” at the same time a deep baritone “oh thank the stars.” spoke.

Looking at the newcomers revealed two skeletons, one who Papyrus called ‘Sans’ was about shoulder high to you and wore a red and black striped shirt with a black and yellow hoodie over it, black runner shorts with worn sneakers. He appeared to be young, perhaps around your eldest’s age, with a soft and roundish skull, and like Papyrus he had pointy teeth, though his looked infinitely sharper than the little skeleton’s, and was missing one of them.

The other skeleton was clearly an adult, standing a couple of inches taller than you, wearing a grey tee with a worn blue hoodie, black shorts and…pink house slippers? Unlike the two children skeleton’s he did not have sharp teeth, and while his skull was rounder and far more expressive than any humans ever would be it didn’t possess the chubby youthfulness the little ones had. He had large sockets with small eye lights that were trained onto the two skeleton children, a strained smile fixed onto his face/skull.

The two younger monsters were hugging, Sans having snatched Papyrus from Azswap and seemed content not to let go, while Papyrus clung to him and his kitten. Papyrus looked over his shoulder at the adult skeleton, suddenly growing shy.

“edge, kiddo, you had us worried.” The blue hoodie skeleton said, sounding relieved yet somehow looking very tired.

“SORRY DAD.”

“I’m not mad, just worried when we couldn’t find you. where were you?”

“I GOT CHASED BY A HUNGRY DOG.” Papyrus let his brother go long enough to point to you. “SHE SAVED ME AND DOOMFANGER.”

Both of the older skeletons were looking at you, and you were struck at how similar the older son was to his father in looks. _If it weren’t for the teeth, I’d bet Sans would be a dead ringer to his father once he grew up._

Sans looked at you with distrust, sockets narrowing as he steps away from you, holding Papyrus away as though he thought you might try to grab his brother. It was so similar to how Papyrus held Doomfanger away that it made you smile.

The father gave you a cursory look yet somehow it felt as though he was looking inside you. You smiled at him, not offended in the slightest at his judging attention. You knew had it been him finding one of your girls you’d definitely be appraising him too.

Finally his smile looked a bit more genuine and he held out his bony hand. “thanks for rescuing my kid. names sans, sans the skeleton.”

You introduced yourself, reaching to take his hand you thought, _So Sans Senior, Sans Junior and Papyrus—_

A loud, long and wet noise filled the air when you shook his hand, and you must have had a hysterical expression on your face because Sans Senior couldn’t control his laughter, Sans Junior joining him in the laughter, as did the goat brothers as Papyrus loudly yelled “DAD! DON’T SCARE HER AWAY WITH YOUR BAD JOKES!”, which made you break out in a fit of giggles.

“ah, come on bro, the old man is just clearing the air.” Sans Junior said with a massive shit eating grin. Papyrus just groaned loudly.

“yup, couldn’t hold it in.”

“OH STARS, JUST STOP YOU TWO!”

“hey now that’s no way to talk to your _farter_.”

You couldn’t stop the snort you made, earning a smile from Sans Senior.

A loud chime rang out, Sans Senior fishing out a phone from his hoodie as Sans Junior tried to convince Papyrus not to wiggle out of his arms. His easy smile dimed, and he looked just tired again.

“okay boys, we need to de- _fart_ soon. red, when we get back, i need you to help cloud and blue with watchin’ the others.”

“why can’t black, cran or pinkie help?”

“because black is sick and we’re trying to keep the others from getting sick, pinkie’s has that class he _better_ be at, and cran and sugar is at their therapy session.”

Sans Junior (Red? must be a nickname) groaned, a long drawn out noise that children often made when they felt like their parents were giving them unreasonable chores.

The adult skeleton shook his head, shrugging with a ‘what can you do?’ sort of shrug before he seemed to remember he had an audience.

“thanks again lady, for keeping him safe.” Sans Senior said in that deep baritone of his, looking sincerely grateful.

“same. thanks for keeping my brother safe.” Red (it was just easier to call him by his nickname), said, looking like he was trying to be tough as he said it. Papyrus on the other hand blushed red again, waving his hand with a shy, “THANKS FOR HELPING ME, MISSY!”

You flushed at the sincere thanks, mumbling a ‘your welcome’ before finishing your purchases. Drink in hand and flowers wrapped, you headed for the door when a last funny thought hit you.

Turning to Sans and his sons, you winked. “It was nice to meet all of you, but I have to go now. Well you know what they say! _Farting_ is such sweet sorrow.” You said with a grin.

As you left you got to see both Sans and Red’s look of glee and Papyrus yelling at them for corrupting her.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

A tiny pair of feet stomped happily into your room, running up to where you were burrowed under the blankets.

“Mama! Mama! Wakey wakey!” your five-year old, Sweetpea, squealed gleefully, shaking your shoulder. You slowly opened one eye, looking at her grinning dimple face.

“Nooooo…”

“Yeeees!” Sweetpea said with relish, drawing the ‘e’ out and slurring the ‘s’.

Sweetpea got her nickname after she tried to eat said flower when she was two, and your ex had thought it so funny he just started calling her that, as did everyone else. She was even wearing one right now behind her ear, along with a bumblebee striped shirt, hot green ballerina skirt with tie-dye leggings and frog rainboots, clearing having decided to dress herself this fine morning.

With an over exaggerated sigh you got up, finally noticing that Sweetpea hair was up in uneven braids.

“Tommy do your hair, sweetie?” you asked as you stretched, already knowing the answer.

Sweetpea made an affirmative noise before rushing off, no doubt to inform your eldest that you were awake.

Tommy was ten and enjoyed most forms of sports and traditional male hobbies such as fishing, biking, camping, wrestling, and collecting car toys. Tommy wasn’t your eldest daughter’s real name, but rather the nickname she took due to her tomboy activities and ungirly hobbies. Your father had been the one to call her that, though he had not meant it as a compliment. Tommy though liked it and was more likely to respond to it than her actual name.

Checking the time, you groaned as the clock said it was a quarter pass six and muttered silent curses as you got dressed. It was just your luck that two-thirds of your kids were active morning people.

Once dressed you made your way to the kitchen, only pausing to see if BJ was still sleeping. To your surprise her bed was empty, though you wouldn’t put it pass Tommy to sic Sweetpea on her own twin.

Now in the kitchen, you found all three of your girls there, Tommy pouring cereal for herself, Sweetpea was already in her seat, her favorite plush (a large bug-eyed dragon named Snuggles) at her side as Tommy poured you a cup of coffee.

On the other side of the small table was BJ, head propped up by a hand, hair a frizzy mess and still in her pajama’s as she fought a losing war against consciousness, her other hand firmly clutching a coffee.

BJ was different from her twin Tommy, but not in a way that was considered stereotypical for twins. BJ hated sports but loved the marching band and most forms of music but got competitive with Tommy with a lot of stuff, like video and board games.

After a quick check to ensure all three of your girls were eating you made yourself breakfast, pouring a bowl of cereal and sitting next to BJ who was poking at her own bowl.

You smiled as you watched you girls, savoring these moments. It was almost summer, which meant they would be spending that first month with your best friend and ex-husband. You never begrudged them their time with their father, but you were always lonely during that time. Their father always offered you to come along, but you always declined for two reasons. First, you knew how much these summers meant to the girls as their dad always took them to amusement parks, zoos and other places and you knew how much he loved spending time with his princesses. And second, you did not want to give your parents reason to believe the two of you were getting back together.

The divorce itself hadn’t been bad, it had been entirely mutual when you and he ended the relationship. You and your ex had been good friends all through middle school, dated in the last year of high school after both of your families started pressuring you two to start dating, and it’d just been expected for you to get married, hell everyone seemed to have been trying to nag you two to marry the second you legally could despite the fact the two of you were content with just being friends with benefits.

But sometimes that wasn’t enough, and the both of you were quietly miserable in married life. After nearly eight years of trying to make it work and three wonderful daughters, the two of you had a sit down and talked, agreeing that though they were best of friends they couldn’t stand each other as husband and wife. The separation had been amicable, with both sides making sure the girls benefitted the most of this and never felt either stuck in between their parents or that they were the reason behind the divorce.

(It stung a little that after the divorce was settled, all three of your girls stated that they felt more like a family now that mama and daddy weren’t married together.)

Even his family was accepting of this, as his parents had married and divorced and understood that some marriages just didn’t last and were supportive even from across the country.

No, it was your parents who were throwing a fit over it, since your ex was their favorite son-in-law. When the divorce was first mentioned, your parents had acted like it was some kind of goth phase you were in and that you would go right back to being together. When it was finalized, they had agreed to house you and the girls until you could find an apartment saying that it wouldn’t be a problem at all, but the moment you were moved in it had been hell.

They had been passive aggressive about the divorce in the beginning, little snide and condescending remarks here and there, until it got to the point you couldn’t go a day without one of them spitefully snapping about how you worked too much to care for your children (lies, you always prioritize the girls over work), who you were spending time with, how it was cruel you were for taking them away from the father who adored them, how you should’ve worked harder to keep your marriage intact, and why couldn’t you be more like your sister and brother, they aren’t divorced! Oh, and let’s not forget your mother’s favorite! Who was going to want a divorced woman with three children?

 _Y’know, the typical wonderful things that parents said to their children._ you thought dryly. _It doesn’t matter that we tried for over eight long years to make it work, or that all five of us are visibly happier now, or that he is still a huge part of the girl’s lives and that we have joint custody. No, what matters is that I’m clearly the bad guy here and should get back with him because that’s what my parents want, his and my feelings and mental health in this be damned. And they had the gall to look surprised when I decided enough was enough and moved to this crappy apartment—_

Enough of that! You refused to let that cloud your day! it was your day off and a weekend, meaning you got to spend it with the girls!

Forcibly leaving those thoughts behind, you turned to smile at the girls. “Sooooo. What do you want to do today?”

BJ spoke up first. “Wanna go back to bed.”

Tommy playfully shoved her twin, smiling crookedly. “Something with a lot of games!”

“Park!” Sweetpea cried out, thrusting her hands high and splattering a spoon full of milk and soggy cereal on the floor.

Tommy raced for the paper towel, nodding at Sweetpea. “I can play with Sweets and anyone else there, while BJ naps under a tree!”

“Yay, naps.” BJ unenthusiastically agreed.

“Park it is, but first BJ get dressed. You are not wearing your pj’s.”

“Urgh, effort.” BJ groaned but arose to get dressed, lumbering out.

Sweetpea ran after her, nattering on about getting Snuggles a jacket as Tommy started clearing the dishes to wash. Your cellphone went off, Barbie Girl sounding out. You waved off Tommy to get ready as you answered the phone, smiling. “Hey Squish! How’s it hanging?”

Squish was the nickname you gave your ex back in middle school when he was ‘big and squishy’. Back then he was very self-conscious about his weight until you got the idea to call him ‘Squish’, theorizing that if you guys turn the insults that your classmates used into nicknames, you’d become immune to it. It worked, and to this day you still called him that.

(The fact that these days ‘squish’ is the platonic form of a crush made it better in your mind, especially after the divorce.)

“Hey Doll! Just called to let you know I’ll be boarding the plane soon, and I’m texting a picture of my ticket and info in the event something happens, like if I get lost or taken away by some human trafficker and sold as a sex slave.”

“No problem. Want to talk to the girls?”

“Oh yes!”

Covering the speaker, you yelled for the girls to come and talk to their father and soon the three were back, dressed and ready to go. Sweetpea made grabby hands at the phone until you just put him on speaker.

“Hey, my princesses!”

You left the phone with Tommy, allowing the girls a moment with him as you fetched your jacket from the closest.

_“Love you Mama!”_

_“You’re the best Mom ever!”_

_“You’re the coolest Ma- ow, Sweets, quit pushing!”_

_“I love you the most! And so does Snuggles!”_

_“Lies, I do.”_

_“Nope, I look the most like her, ergo I love her the most.”_

_“That doesn’t make sense!”_

Turning to the vase by the door, you couldn’t stop the happy grin as you listened to the Echo flower repeat your daughters’ words. You got the flower a week ago and have been surprised at the longevity of the glowing flower. You kept it near the door because the directions on it states to keep it out of direct sunlight, but also because it was the first thing you heard entering or leaving. You planned to visit the shop again, maybe bring the girls next time (and maybe get to meet more monsters).

Leaning in you gently spoke into the flower, “You three are the greatest blessings in my life, and I adore you so much.”

Turning back, you watched as the girls continue to chat with their father, smiling brightly as you packed cookies and water bottles for the trip.

It was going to be a good day; you just knew it.

* * *

It was close to noon by the time you made it to the park. It wasn’t a very long walk, only a mile from your apartment but Sweetpea kept going from wanting to walk to being carried as Tommy and BJ played on a game console Squish got them that allowed them to compete against each other.

Once there you let them do what they want as long as they stayed in sight, which meant that Sweetpea nagged Tommy into pushing her on the swings as BJ wandered over to the one next to them, swinging in time to Sweetpea in a game of ‘who can go higher’.

The weather was lovely, which meant that the park was full of parents and children of both races running around, screaming, laughing and generally having a good time.

You stood off to the side, watching as the girls continued to play on the swings, Tommy and BJ talking as Sweetpea focused on getting higher… until Sweetpea, in a moment of exhilaration, let go as it swung forward, flying off the seat at an alarming height.

You lurched forward in a futile attempt to catch her, even as you already knew you were too far away—

Suddenly Sweetpea glowed a blueish color, stopping midair and looking positively delighted at the stop in gravity.

“Look Mama! I’m flying!”

“ACTUALLY, I JUST USED BLUE MAGIC ON YOU.” A loud but friendly child’s voice sounded out. Looking past the swings was a monster… a skeleton monster that looked to be roughly the twins in size, blue-tinted magic surrounding the outstretched arms that pointed towards Sweetpea with a glowing socket that strobed with reddish-orange magic. “HUMANS CAN’T FLY AND I DON’T THINK YOU HAVE THE DEXTERITY LIKE MY OLDER BROTHERS TO CORRECTLY MAKE THE LAND, SO I HOPE I’M NOT IMPEDING UPON ANY BOUNDERIES…” The voice trailed off, the magic wavering as Sweetpea was set down.

Your youngest was set gently in front of you and you wasting no time you hugged her, looking towards the skeleton monster who was now nervously tugging at his mittens.

The skeleton was very thin, so much so that you had to resist the urge to feed him. He wore muddy orange boots and faded leggings, a baggy sweater vest that had off white and red stripes with a heavily patched coat over it. The poor dear wore thick coke bottle glasses and had braces, but he looked cheerful.

“Thank you for catching her!” You would have thanked them more but Sweetpea had wiggled out of your grip and had ran up to the taller child, eyes shining in awe.

“You can make me fly!”

“N-NO, MORE LIKE FLOAT.” The child said sheepishly, hunching just enough so Sweetpea could properly hold his red mitten covered hand.

“Can you do it again? Pleeeeeease?”

“sorry kiddo, hard pass on that. sugar here wasn’t supposed to use magic in the first place… though I think everyone’s happy he did.” A deep familiar baritone sounded.

Walking towards you was Sans the Skeleton, looking exactly like he did when you met him a week ago… and you were pretty sure that was even the same outfit, though there was a stain near one the collar, so it might be he just has another blue hoodie. The only thing you could think that was different was that the color under his sockets were somehow darker, giving him a pronounced look of exhaustion.

“HI DAD!” The monster child said with clear enthusiasm, looking happy to see his dad.

“hey boyo. Whatda doin’ over here? cran was worried bout’ ya.”

“SORRY, I GOT DISTRACTED BY THE SMELL OF HAMBUGERS.”

“if you’re hungry, eat some of the hotcats in my stand.”

“BUT THAT’S YOUR JOB! I DON’T WANT TO TAKE IT FOR FREE!”

“its fine, cran doesn’t mind. now come on back to the other playground, before cran eats the whole stand and the rest of the guys start a riot or somethin’.”

“Excuse me!” Sweetpea called out, still holding ‘Sugar’s’ hand. Sans looked down at her, raising a socket like one would an eyebrow.

“sup kiddo?”

“Can I play with him?” She asked, pointing to the monster she seemed extremely reluctant to let go. Her face scrunched up and she turned to the skeleton boy. “Can I play with you?”

Father and son shared a look before they both turned to you. “you okay with them playin’, miss? i got plenty of kids for all three to play with, though they tend to get a bit rowdy.”

You smiled as Sans looked over to the twins, both of who had got close to Sweetpea and Sugar, looking excited at the prospect of playing with monster kids.

“I don’t have a problem with it if you don’t, sir.”

“none here. we are actually in the one over there, you can probably see my hellions already.”

The kids cheered, the twins taking off as Sweetpea tried to run with Sugar, not getting far as Sugar only quickly walked back. You turned back to Sans to re-introduce yourself, only to find that he was nowhere in sight.

Confused you kept pace with Sugar and Sweetpea, only stopping at the edge of the playground as Sweetpea finally let Sugar’s hand go but instead was tugging on his coat towards others.

The twins were already mingling, playing with a familiar looking pair of skeletons…and at least ten other skeletons as well. The boys from before, Red and Papyrus, seemed to be directing some kind of game between a bunch of smaller skeletons that bore a striking resemblance to Papyrus and Sugar, Sweetpea flittering between the smaller skeleton’s as she held three different conversations while simultaneously keeping Sugar in reach, Tommy seemed to be teaching a pair of skeletons that wore blue and purple bandana’s how to play on the console as another skeleton in a pink striped tank top and worryingly short shorts watched over their shoulder, and BJ seemed to be relaxing under a big oak with a small skeleton wearing a striped dog onesie and a rather large one that seemed to be watching all the other ones with one eyelight filled socket that you were almost positive was red.

And not far from them, was Sans next to a hotdog stand sprawled onto a bench and listlessly holding a hotdog, looking like the picture of exhaustion.

Looking back at the kids, you began to wonder if Sans had been suckered or volentold into watching a bunch of relatives, ones that bore a striking resemblance to his own boys… unless Red, Sugar and Papyrus weren’t his only kids…? No, surely they weren’t all…

You found yourself walking over to the only other adult, curiosity moving you forward.

Sans didn’t move his head, but his eye lights turned towards you, his perma-grin strained.

Standing a respectable distance, you smiled at him in a friendly manner. “Hi! I don’t know if you remember me-”

“lady from a week ago, kept my kid safe. yeah i remember you, though i can’t remember yer name.”

Happily you reintroduced yourself, a delicious scent wafted towards you, and your stomach rumbled as you eyed the hotdog stand. “are those hotdogs?”

His grin turned softer. “nope. hotcats.”

“Hot…cats? What’s the difference?”

He held up his own hotcat, which in fact had a face on it…and little cat ears and a tail. You giggled at the cute food. “I’ll try one of those.”

“great, mind getting’ it yourself? i’m kinda watchin’ my horde at the moment.”

You stared at him, wondering if he was pulling your leg. But no, he just continued to sit there, staring at the kids in a watchful manner that looked out of place with his lax position.

“You’re okay with a customer messing around with your stand?”

“i’m _feline_ -ly certain I will see you messin’ with anything. i’m _pur_ -ly certain you won’t try to stiff me.”

 _Puns? Hadn’t he did something similar a week age?_ You thought as you went to get a hotcat, purposefully positioning yourself in a way that would allow Sans to see you. Once done you inquired how much it was and paid the amount, then sat next to the sprawled skeleton.

For a moment the two of you sat in comfortable silence, eating hotcats. Then a ball soared between you two, causing you to dive away. Sans on the other hand hadn’t moved, but now looked distinctly put out.

“oy! careful!”

A chorus of ‘sorry dad’ resounded from all the skeletons before they went back to playing.

You took back your seat, the hotcat having been squeezed in half from the scare. Sans held out your money. “here, they made you drop the cat.”

You shook you head. “It’s okay, it wasn’t intentional.”

“you sure? you can have another one instead, on the house.”

You thanked him, getting up long enough to throw the hotcat away and make yourself another. Sans turned his head towards you, though his eyelights strayed on the kids.

“nice of you, wish my kids were considerate like that.”

It was then that you remembered that all the skeleton kids called him ‘dad’. You probably looked stupid, looking from Sans to his kids, several times while holding a hotcat as you did the math in your head. You knew that your mouth was hanging open, looking dumbly at the whopping dozen skeleton monster children running around. Gesturing helplessly, you stumbled over your words. “Are they-did you- how-”

Sans let out a long and drawn out sigh. “yes, they are mine.”

Suddenly Sans exhaustion made more sense.

You sat heavily next to him, staring at him in both amazement and shock. “Um, wow. All of them?”

It was a stupid question, you realized that, but he still answered. “all twelve of ‘em.”

“And, and how many are girls and boys?”

“all boys. thing about being a truly single parent is that they only have you to draw all the magic and lineage from. that’s why half of them look like my brother.”

You were a little distracted by several things he said, the main one being said number. “All boys?!”

“yup. if you want to get legally technical, there hasn’t been a female in my lineage for like, three generations.”

“Whoa… I struggle raising three. You and you w- _partner_ must be busy as hell raising them.” You mentally chided yourself over nearly assuming he had a wife. Monster’s procreation wasn’t restricted by gender like humans, and Sans did just say there weren’t any females in his family, so he more than likely had a husband—

“don’t have a partner, just my brother and I raisin’ these hellions.”

“O-oh, um, sorry if I brought up bad memories-”

“nah, that ain’t it. I just meant I had them without the help of a partner.”

‘H-how…?”

Leaning forward, Sans gave you a very serious look, his tone flat. “well, ya see, in an alternate timeline i went messing with this old machine i had and accidently pulled out lots of alternate versions of myself and my brother, and while tryin’ to put them back so we don’t cause reality to unravel, i accidently screwed it up and merged a lot of worlds together after unintentionally dragging us back a year before the barrier broke. the alternate versions of my brother and i had been closest and tryin’ to help me fix it and it caused them to de-aged back to their babybones years, both physically and mentally. still haven’t figured how that happened, but as our worlds have been merged and i’m the one who screwed up i took custody of them in order to give them a better life.”

He maintained eye contact for about thirty seconds before bursting out laughing at your incredulous face. “just kiddin! your face though!”

You laughed along, amused by his warped humor though you felt that there was a joke there that you just weren’t privy to. His laughter petered out, the amused grin softer.

“you heard how in the underground we had a massive population decline for like the last century before the barrier broke?”

“Yes.” You had actually. It was a pretty big thing, as the monsters at the start of the barrier breaking down ranged just over ten thousand, large enough to be a population yet in comparison to the humans literal billions they were a vast minority. People all over the world were trying to ensure that the monsters didn’t die out nor were treated like a subspecies, creating reserves for them, with Ebott City being their undisputed capital.

“well several of our scientists got together and create a process that would increase the number of kids we could produce without the need of a partner, as well as a way to have more babies without worrying that we will inbred. think of it as artificial wombs. in the beginning, a lot of people had a lot of kids, which led to a large number of the population with similar looking siblings, though that’s pretty rare now. I decided to have kids without a partner and went to get my first kid… and they messed up by accidently making six. first set of sextuplets was on them screwing up, the second set was me thinking it would be a good idea to ensure the older ones had their own younger brother. yeah, i know, not one of my brightest moments, but i don’t really regret it.”

“two…sets of…sextuplets…?” You whispered, all awhile trying to wrap your head around what he just told you.

“yup. second generation to be born through artificial process because my old man was asexual and married to his job but still wanted kids.”

“…you are a braver soul than I am.”

“nah, more of a patient and justice type.” He replied, again in a tone that hinted at an inner joke only he understood.

“Mama!” Sweetpea cried out, running towards you. Or at least tying to. She was also trying to drag the skeleton that had rescued her, a feat she was not succeeding very well as the child was roughly the twins in size.

Sweetpea finally got close to, refusing to let the bigger child go.

“Mama, this is Sugar!”

The tall child waved, smiling brightly at you. “HI MISS! NICE TO MEET YOU OFFICALLY!”

You smiled back, introducing yourself to the surprisingly loud boy. Sweetpea beamed at you for a moment before turning to Sans. “You Sugar’s daddy, right?”

Sans flinched, grin straining. Sugar spoke before Sans had a chance to.

“WE DON’T CALL HIM ‘DADDY’ SINCE PINKIE GOT THE WORD BANNED FOR IMPROPER USE OF THE WORD. INSTEAD WE CALL HIM DAD, POPS, OLD MAN, GEEZER AND FORMALLY FATHER.”

“yup, that’s me. and on an unrelated note, please never ever call me sugar daddy again.” You tried to stop the laugh that threatened to bubble out, making a loud snort which made Sans smile a bit more genuinely. “need something?”

Standing tall at two feet and four inches, Sweetpea puffed her chest out, looking Sans squarely in the socket. “Can I marry Sugar? He gives the best hugs! And he can make me fly!”

It was probably a good thing Sans wasn’t drinking anything because the wheeze he made would have definitely been a spew. Seeing that you were fighting off laughter and thus would be of no help, Sans turned to his son.

“um, uh… sugar? got anything to say?””

The tall child shrugged. “SHE FED ME COOKIES. MY STANDARDS HAVE BEEN MET.”

“of course, she won you over with food…” Sans muttered, looking around. “what ‘bout cran? He might not like you marrying a girl you just met.”

“MY DEAR SWEETPEA GAVE HIM COOKIES AS WELL. AFTER PROMISING HIM HE COULD COME BY AND EAT WHEN EVER HE WANTED TO, HE GAVE HIS BLESSING.”

“and she clearly is well fed for emergency use. how could i say no?”

You jumped, whipping around to where the quiet voice spoke out.

Standing behind the bench you were sitting on was another skeleton child, the same one that had been sitting near BJ and watching the other kids…though the ‘child’ part felt like a bit of a stretch. He looked to be only a couple inches shorter than Sans, and would no doubt one day be his doppelganger in terms of looks, though he looked slimmer and a little hunched in a way that was probably meant to make him look bigger, which just highlighted his chubby face. Even his fashion sense seemed to be modeled after his father’s, as he wore black shorts and a ratty blue hoodie with faux fur lining, though the shirt under it was a black and white striped one, and a galaxy themed beanie. Like Sans he also wore slippers, but unlike his father’s pink slippers he wore… slippers that looked like hamburgers. Right.

“Emer-emerg-eny? What’s that?” Sweetpea asked, tilting her head in confusion, a feeling you felt as well.

“What do you mean by that?” You inquired, turning to face the beanie wearing child. The boy looked at you and you fought a shiver. The boy was smiling but there was only one eye light and it seemed… vacant, for lack of better words.

“ ** _cran_**.” Sans spoke, a mountains worth of warnings in that single word.

Cran blinked rapidly (how could a skeleton blink?) and then just giggled before replying. “just a joke. don’t let it _eat_ at ya, old man.”

“I just _beet_ that was a joke.” Sans muttered so lowly that if you weren’t sitting next to him you wouldn’t have heard him.

Cran leaned on the back of the bench, sticking his hand out to you, grinning in a wide happy way as the vacant look dissipated, mirth filling its place. “nice to eatcha! Names sans, but everyone calls me cran. i’m the oldest of this bag of bones accidents.”

Confused, you introduced yourself, reaching for his hand—

\--only for Sans to grab your hand, scowling at Cran. The kid pouted, turning his hand to reveal a buzzer.

“cran! what did i say about those?”

“what? It would have improved the _current_ mood! I’m _shock_ ed you wouldn’t want me to make friends, pops!”

“I ain’t against you makin’ friends, cran. _buzz_ this is the third time I’ve told ya not to do this, not everyone likes this kind of joke. _wire_ you not listening to me?”

“i’m twelve, it would be more _shocking_ if I did listen to ya.”

I should _charge_ you for not listenin’.”

“put it on my tab.”

“A-HEM! Can I marry Sugar or not?” Sweetpea interrupted, bored with the conversation.

Deciding to take pity on the clearly irritated Sans, you turned to Sweetpea and Sugar. “How about you two get to know each other first? Most people don’t marry till they are in their twenties anyways.”

Both children groaned at that, loudly complaining about that being forever away until you countered that just meant they could really get to know each other well and not rush into anything and marry for the right reasons instead of what everyone expected of you.

“Like with you and Dad?” Sweetpea asked with all the blunt innocence of a child who didn’t understand the more complicated nuances of relationships.

“Y-yeah, sorta.” You were not going to go into that. Nope.

A loud fart broke the air, and for about ten seconds nobody moved. Then a series of farting noises erupted out, Sans and Cran’s grins turning mischievous as Sugar gave them both a disappointed look. “REALLY? FARTING TEXT NOISES?”

Sans just chuckled with Cran as you giggling with Sweetpea at the noises, Sans checked his message. His grin twisted a little with strain as he stood up stretching.

“alright, that was your uncle lettin’ me know he’ll be home soon. sugar, go round up the rest of the hooligans. cran, finish this hotcat for me.”

“I need to get my twins as well and start heading home.” You stood reaching for Sweetpea and gently taking her from Sugar, who waved Sweetpea goodbye as he took off to do as Sans asked, Cran devouring the hotcat whole and started ‘helping’ his father pack the stand.

You whistled, letting the twins know it was time to go as you picked a sad looking Sweetpea up. “I liked talking to you Sans, and the girls clearly enjoyed spending time with your boys. Want to meet up here again? Say next Saturday?”

Sans whipped his head towards you, looking surprised. Cran even stopped ransacking the hotcats to look at you, one hanging from his mouth. Sans was quick to recover and agreed, looking happy as you gave each other your numbers.

(you suspected it was the joy of having another adult to talk to who wasn’t intimidated by his brood).

“Oh and Cran? you need to be more careful with buzzing people. Some might, you know, _charge_ you for assault and _battery_!” You grinned, readjusting Sweetpea as Cran cackled and Sans looked a bit gleeful.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like giving names to characters, even ones that in fanbases tend to get the Y/N L/N name idea, but always felt odd that they didn’t get a name while their families do. So this is me trying to even the playing fields by giving Doll a family that predominantly goes by nicknames. And before you ask, her nickname is Doll.
> 
> Yup, Sans is just a single dad who got his boys through artificial means gone wrong, not because he messed with space-time continuum and dimensions and screwed up fixing everything by accidentally merging like, fifteen worlds (that mercifully only effected the Underground and nothing else) and again messed up by accidentally de-aging nearly all of his and Papyrus’ alternate selves. Yup, totally had them through artificial reproduction thanks to a convenient population drop that got fixed and is why there are so many people that look strangely alike (and if you point out the bizarre and near identical similarities, you are clearly a racist human). That is how he got the boys. Totally.


End file.
